Sometimes I get really worried that my home life causes me too much anxiety. I feel like I am always trying to impress my husband instead of looking out for my own needs.
I have only limited information here, but let me see if I can help.
Perhaps take some time to think about the 2 options you present.
1) look out for your husband’s needs, and ignore your own.
–It seems you’ve been doing that, and it’s not working. It’s causing you anxiety at home.
2) Look out for your needs first.
–This is the approach you haven’t tried, but it seems this approach worries you. Perhaps you’re thinking: If you look after your own needs, your husband will feel neglected–which might cause conflict?
Maybe consider this: Someone who is struggling isn’t well equipped to provide help and support for someone else. You might find that caring for yourself (self care) first actually helps you to be a better spouse in the long run.
And perhaps talk with your husband, and tell him that you need to take some time for yourself. If he’s a good one, he’ll be concerned for your happiness and wellbeing, not just his own.