Viewing posts categorised under: Stress-and-anxiety
1. Don’t Be a Yes Man/Woman
Learn your limits. There is no way that you can always come through for everyone at the office. Do as much as you can and even go beyond, but it is just as important to remember that you can say no sometimes.
If you find yourself feeling worn out all the time that might be a sign that you are doing too much. Listen to your body. You won’t be any good to your company or family if you’re stressed out all of the time.
2. Make Time for Things that Matter to You
Enjoy your family and friends. Take the time to do what you enjoy to do. In making time for things that you matter to you, you are de-stressing. De-stressing is just as important as getting your work done. You will function better, thus you will be a much more valuable asset for the company.
3. Keep Your Work life and Home Life Separate
This is so important to do. Don’t be a burden to your family by bringing work home or missing important moments in your children’s life to work late or take that phone call that could actually wait until the morning. If it’s not life or death, ignore it.
Make your family and friends feel important when you get home, by spending time with them free from the distractions of work.
4. Continue Learning
One of the keys to being successful is to constantly be willing to learn. In today’s society change is a very common thing, subsequently there will always be something that you need to learn for your career. Do yourself the favor of reading articles or books about your field by the people who know it the best.
If you have the time and resources you can even take a class for it. Never let your appetite for knowledge dwindle. Stay ahead of the rest of your coworkers and you will eventually be rewarded.
You’re reading this because you’ve heard of online counseling and the benefits of it. These are the big benefits that we see come from online counseling.
You’re a busy person and you have no idea how counseling sessions will fit into your already packed schedule. Online counseling is a convenient solution for you. You are able to get on the phone or video chat with a counselor at a time that works for your schedule. Talk about convenience!
You work hard so that you can enjoy a certain comfort level and you like being comfortable. You expect nothing less than that same level of comfort in your counseling sessions. Staying at home in a familiar environment is a certain way to keep your comfort level stable. With online counseling you are able to do just that.
Maybe you’re a naturally shy person and you just don’t do well with face-to-face meetings. As a result of the shyness you’re a little more closed off than you would like to be. Online counseling is a great option for that problem. With online counseling you are able to either speak on the phone with or video chat with a counselor. This can help you to enhance how open you are with the counselor. There is something about the virtual world that makes being open a little easier.
Not only are online counseling sessions convenient, but also they are more affordable. Online counseling will give you the same results that going to a physical location will give you, but at a discounted rate. So save a few bucks and get online counseling.
Sometimes, however, talking is not enough. When you find yourself repeating the same story over and over again, or hearing your friend’s unchanging story for the tenth time, you’ve hit that impasse. This is when you cautiously suggest that your friend might need counseling, or you enlist the aid of a therapist yourself. We’re fortunate to live in times when this is no longer stigmatized and in a part of the world where there’s an abundant supply of trained ears who bring a practiced wisdom to their listening. Often, this is all that’s needed to get over that hump, to make the necessary changes so we don’t go around sounding like echoes of ourselves.
And sometimes it is not. Sometimes we need to stop talking and start listening. Not to other people, but to ourselves. Obviously any good therapist facilitates this process. A deeper listening is possible, however, when we bring attention not only to our minds, which can talk endlessly, but to the quieter language of the body. When we expand our awareness to include what’s happening in the body, we can tap into a wisdom that goes beyond ordinary thought and discourse. We touch into the world of feelings and emotions and intuition. Like poetry, the body uses metaphor to express itself against a backdrop of silence that offers the possibility of peace as well as profound insight.
One of the reasons that the fast pace of modern Western life is so stressful is that it cultivates a split between mind and body. We drive our bodies until they scream at us to stop and even then we often find it difficult to heed their message. The body moves at a much slower pace than the mind does. In our minds we can be days, weeks, even years ahead of ourselves, lost in fantasies and plans about the future, or equally preoccupied about the past. The body is much more rooted in the present. By paying attention to our somatic experience, we keep ourselves rooted in the here and now. A radical shift in consciousness often takes place when we finally take the time to listen to what our bodies have to say.
For people who have been traumatized, the body is even more important. Bessel Van der Kolk, a renowned clinician and researcher in the trauma field, emphasizes the importance of working “from the bottom up.” By this, he means bringing clients into direct contact with their corporeal experience and not just talking about what happened. Work with trauma survivors has shown that traumatic memory is encoded more as somatosensory and emotional information than as narrative like normal memory. All the talking in the world cannot clear out those sensory imprints. That’s why simple things like sounds, smells, and touch can trigger flashbacks in traumatized people. Body-focused work becomes absolutely necessary at a certain point in recovery, but it must be done sensitively and slowly, with a great deal of caution, presence, and compassion, in order for it not to be re-traumatizing.
Most of our early memory from the first six years of life is nonverbal as well. Since this is when we’re most impressionable and our basic patterns get set, being able to access these memories through bodywork can be tremendously helpful. As infants, we get our sense of security and safety in the world from the way we are touched and handled. When we become toddlers, it is through the movement of our bodies that we begin to assert ourselves and separate from our mothers, developing a sense of our own individuality. If our caretakers were unable to treat us tenderly when we needed it or to support our separation skillfully, we carry the negative effects of this into adulthood and especially into our relationships. Through touch, a skilled therapist, cognizant of the issues involved, can help one renegotiate these developmental stages and redress emotional wounding left over from them, freeing us to live happier, healthier lives.
Bodywork offers the possibility not only of healing the past but of experiencing the calm and tranquillity of spiritual states as well. Deep relaxation requires a surrender of the defensive holding or muscular tension in the body that is the physical analogue of the ego. It asks us to let go of who we think we are and just be. As roles, ideas and images of ourselves fall away, we can be carried into altered states of consciousness. We may experience a deeper intuitive knowing and insight, or find our hearts opening to a vast peace, love or joy that is beyond words.
We’ve come a long way since Freud, and our understanding of the connection between mind, body and spirit has given rise to many different modalities. There’s a whole field now called body or somatic psychotherapy. Even the medical field has begun to recognize the importance of the mind/body connection in addressing disease and illness in the field of psychoneuroimmunology. But one does not need to be at death’s door or suffering extreme physical or emotional pain to take advantage of the many body-focused disciplines available. Prevention has always been the best cure. But more than that, we open ourselves to expanded consciousness and powerful transformation when we venture beyond the place where words alone can take us.
Diana Lightmoon is a psychotherapist, bodyworker, and meditation teacher with a private practice and weekly meditation group in Santa Fe, NM. She integrates the best of Eastern and Western approaches to psychology to help clients balance mind, body, and spirit. You can connect with her on Facebook.
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Example 1: You are a new graduate seeking your first full time job in the real world. You send out hundreds of resumes, and you finally get a call back from an employer. Things are going well, but then they ask you to take an employee assessment test (employment testing) and you agree too.
Example 2: You are in the middle of your career and you are completely bored with what you are doing. You thought this job would be filled with adventure, excitement, or at least good pay, and you haven’t gotten close to any of those. Your friends talk about how much they enjoy their jobs, and you want to feel that way, so you start looking for new jobs. You aren’t really sure what career path you should take. You seek out a career counselor to take an employee assessment test.
Example 3: You are in college, and majoring in Art is what you would love to do, but you are afraid that career choice will not sustain you down the road. You are unsure of what to do. All of you friends have a driven career path, but you are unsure of which way to go. You seek out employment testing.
In all three cases, these are great reasons to seek out employment testing. But what happens when you fill out the tests?
Don’t lie. This sounds so simple, but in reality, when you are taking the assessment test, it is extremely easy to lie. We tend to think that we have more skills than we do. When asked if we are great leaders, have organizational abilities, or can handle disputes well, generally, we rank ourselves high because we may have a) (leader) led our friends on a great excursion to Vegas, b) (organizational skills) organized our contacts on our iPhone, or c) (disputes) calmed a dispute between our younger siblings (and these are all great qualities!), but make sure you answer these questions as they relate to the work force.
For example, who wouldn’t know the “correct” way to answer test questions like, “How thorough are you?” or “Are you persistent, or do you give up easily?” Why would you ever admit to not being thorough in your work?.
The last thing you want to do is get a job that you thought you wanted and then not like it. If you answer the questions honestly, you may or may not get the job or career you “thought” you wanted, but you will get the career that fits you! And finding a job that you enjoy, can bring you more happiness than finding a job you thought you could enjoy.
Answering the test honestly will help you and your employer from making a terrible hiring decision. Just because you don’t get the job doesn’t mean you weren’t a great candidate – it just means that there is something that you are better equipped to do!
Don’t answer the questions based on the impression you receive from others. Sometimes we are easily influenced by our friends and family members. Your friends may tell you that you would make an excellent lawyer, doctor, or marketing professional, but if you do not want to do those, then don’t answer the questions like you are.
When asked a question on the employment assessments, it is easy to think, “Well, my friends tell me I could be great at that.” And then you answer accordingly. Only answer based on yourself. Years down the road – you will be in this career and your friends won’t. Answer the questions based on what will make you happy!
Finally, Don’t answer the questions based on who you want to be, but who you are now. Most professionals will change careers 5 times in their professional life. It’s hard to know what you want to do in 5 years, let alone what you want to eat for dinner tonight. When taking the employment test, answer the questions based on who you are now. It is easy to think, “Well, I could be good at that!” And you probably could! but answer the questions based on you now.
Now what? If you are looking for career counseling or employment testing, Thriveworks offers career counseling and employment testing to help you excel in your career. To schedule an appointment, or simply to acquire more information, call us anytime toll-free at 1-855-2-THRIVE (1-855-284-7483).
We are shocked and saddened by the recent events that have affected residents of Boston and greater Boston areas.
Thrive Boston Counseling is offering free counseling sessions to victims of, and those experiencing trauma and grief caused by, recent events related to the Boston Marathon bombing. We are also working to quickly develop a Trauma Counseling Group.
For more information, contact our offices at 617-395-5806. We’re available by telephone Monday-Friday, 8:00am-6:00pm. In addition, there is a live attendant 24 hours a day.
Dr. Anthony Centore &
Your Friends at Thrive Boston Counseling
If you or anyone you know has felt the gravity of this tragic event and you need counseling in the Boston area, please call our Boston and Cambridge Offices.
Spring Break is over and you feel rejuvenated, then reality hits you like a ton of bricks. You realize that you papers out of the wazoo and that each are due with deadlines that leave no room to breath.
You’re struggling to find a way to work on all of your projects at the same time, keep up with the class reading and do mandatory homework. This is a common occurrence amongst college students, especially when you get into your upper level classes.
It is important to take maintain your mental health in the middle of chaotic finals week. Here are three ways to keep stress levels low in the weeks leading up to and during finals week:
1. Focus on one day at a time!
If you plan too far in advanced you will only stress yourself out. A better solution would be to right out everything in the order of importance for that day or even that week.
If you still feel overwhelmed, break assignments into sections. For example if you have a research paper instead of trying to get all completed in one or even two sittings, take a day for gathering resources, a day for outlining and then take maybe two days to write the actual paper. It is important while using this method to plan at least three days ahead of the due date.
2. Remember to make time for thing that you enjoy doing.
All work and no play is a sure way to stay stressed out. Make time in your day that you will not do any work.
You are a student so it is obvious that you will have a lot to do, remember you did sign up for this! However, that does not mean that you shouldn’t have any fun. Go outside to get some fresh air. Have a movie night with some friends. Even eating dinner with friends regularly could prove to help you reduce stress and be sure that while you’re with those friends talk about things other than school.
3. Reach out for help when you need it.
Life was not meant to be faced alone so you should realize neither was college. If there is a particular subject that you are struggling with find someone who is doing well in it and ask him/her for help.
If you can’t find help then see if tutoring is available for that course or go directly to the professor for help. Most professors appreciate it when their students display an interest in how well they are performing in their class.
You can do this hang in there!
College is not a walk through the park. College does become a lot easier when you learn how to prioritize assignments, make time for friends and fun, and get help when necessary.
These are just some of the ways to maintain low stress levels during the terror the most students know as finals week. Take these tips and apply them to your whole semester and you will be ahead of the game.
Greetings Thriver’s – I’m Dr. Anthony Centore, here for Thriveworks, in Partnership with Theravive.
Psychologist Melvin Lerner has spent his career studying the concept of “Justice”. According to his research, we are pre-disposed to believe in a JUST world.
It works like this:
1) We want to believe that we live in a safe, stable, orderly world.
…One where bad things happened to bad people, and good things happen to good people.
Despite all reason, we yearn for this belief to be true.
Hence, when something unfortunate happens to someone else, our first assumption is often that they brought it on themselves, or are at least in part responsible.
You got into a car accident? You weren’t driving defensively.
Your accountant won’t call you back? You must be a bad client.
In fact, in a 1965 study, Dr. Lerner found that college students who were informed that another student won the lottery rationalized the student’s GOOD fortune by believing that the winner must have deserved it for some reason.
I mean, no one wants to believe that a wretch won the lottery.
Question of the day. …Do YOU believe that people get what they deserve?
Anthony Centore is CEO of Thriveworks, and director of Thrive Boston Counseling, 872 Massachusetts Ave, Suite 2-2, Cambridge, MA 02139. 617-395-5806.
BPD – What to look for
The onset of borderline personality disorder symptoms typically occur during adolescence. This is characterized by volatile and disorderly conduct becoming a dominant character trait. This may continue on for many years but it will naturally subside over time. To ensure accuracy, the diagnosis and treatment is often delayed until the period of maturity. Doctors find it necessary to discount the influence of personality development on behavioral problems before coming to a conclusion. Early diagnosis of BPD is only possible provided the symptoms are present and persist over a period of one year. The symptoms of BPD are as follows:
- Alterations in self-perception (“I’m good” versus “I’m bad”)
- Constant shifts in life goals
- Frequent changes in job profile
- Impermanent social affiliations
- Erratic romantic relationships (love-hate)
- Difficulty in accepting exemptions or “gray-areas”
- Emotional liability and inappropriate hostility
- Short but intense periods of depression or anxiety
- Impulsive and risky behavior
BPD – Causes and in other media
Borderline Personality Disorder is a very sensitive and complex condition. It may be triggered from a history of trauma, as in sexual abuse, or be caused by genetic, neurological, anatomical or environmental factors. Hormonal abnormalities, particularly that of serotonin (which is also related to depression), may also be credited for the development of BPD. Other disorders associated with BPD are mood disorders, depression and substance abuse.
This particular disorder was once featured in the 1999 film “Girl Interrupted.” The motion picture provided important insight into the thoughts and struggles of a person with BPD, and gave a clear picture of the treatment facility atmosphere in which she was bound to settle. The film, which was based on an autobiography, revealed BPD as not only a mental but a social issue. The negative stigma of its diagnosis has not only punished troubled parties but their families as well. It must be made clear that BPD is not an infectious disease. Therefore, communities should make every effort not to socially ostracize people with the condition. In fact, a greater awareness and understanding of borderline personality disorder should be promoted to foster a safer, more healing environment for those afflicted.
This article is provided by Thriveworks Philadelphia Counseling. Please visit our website at http://thriveworks.com/philadelphia-counseling/ or give us a call at 1-617-395-5806 for further assistance.
Treatment Option – Psychotherapy
Victims who suffer from this disorder are mostly hard to treat for many reasons. Psychotherapy, as with most personality disorders, is the treatment of choice. Group and family therapy are usually not recommended. Victims with this disorder often come off as being “fake” in their interpersonal relationships with other people. Patients often show all feelings with the same depth of emotion, unaware of the delicacy of their own emotional states. Therapists will find that taking a somewhat steady stance within this therapy is useful due to the common amplification of events and problems by the victims. By using a line of reasoning to its logical conclusion the client can mostly discover the impracticable expectations and fears associated with many behaviors and thinking.
Many people who are suffering from Histrionic Personality Disorder will emphasize attractiveness over substance in their lives and relationships. Discussing and trying out new alternate behaviors may be helpful. The therapist can also help by eluding traps during sessions, such as when the client starts using shallow criteria to judge another. The patient should ultimately look to be able to proactively engage any treatment steps discussed in therapy on their own throughout their lives.
Insight and cognitive-oriented approaches are usually largely ineffective in treating this disorder and thus should be avoided. People with this disorder are mostly incapable of analyzing their own unconscious motivations and concepts to a degree where it is beneficent.
While these approaches can be a part of a longer treatment plan, they should not be the focus. Helping the victim to analyze interactions from a more objective point of view and emphasizing substitute explanations for behavior is likely to be more effective. Analyzing and clarifying a victim’s emotions are also crucial components of this therapy.
In most personality disorders, medications are not suggested except for the treatment of specific, concurrent Axis I diagnoses. Attention should be given when advising medications to someone who suffers from histrionic personality disorder because of the potential abuse of the medication to contribute to self-destructive or otherwise harmful conducts.
Article provided by Thrive Philadelphia. For further information or assistance, please visit us at http://thriveworks.com/philadelphia-counseling/, or call us at 1-855-2-THRIVE.