Viewing posts categorised under: Family
1. Don’t Be a Yes Man/Woman
Learn your limits. There is no way that you can always come through for everyone at the office. Do as much as you can and even go beyond, but it is just as important to remember that you can say no sometimes.
If you find yourself feeling worn out all the time that might be a sign that you are doing too much. Listen to your body. You won’t be any good to your company or family if you’re stressed out all of the time.
2. Make Time for Things that Matter to You
Enjoy your family and friends. Take the time to do what you enjoy to do. In making time for things that you matter to you, you are de-stressing. De-stressing is just as important as getting your work done. You will function better, thus you will be a much more valuable asset for the company.
3. Keep Your Work life and Home Life Separate
This is so important to do. Don’t be a burden to your family by bringing work home or missing important moments in your children’s life to work late or take that phone call that could actually wait until the morning. If it’s not life or death, ignore it.
Make your family and friends feel important when you get home, by spending time with them free from the distractions of work.
4. Continue Learning
One of the keys to being successful is to constantly be willing to learn. In today’s society change is a very common thing, subsequently there will always be something that you need to learn for your career. Do yourself the favor of reading articles or books about your field by the people who know it the best.
If you have the time and resources you can even take a class for it. Never let your appetite for knowledge dwindle. Stay ahead of the rest of your coworkers and you will eventually be rewarded.
According to Meg, there are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. That’s about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.
Meg specializes in twentysomethings because she believe that every single 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.
To view the entire Ted Talk:
“This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “Aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40, don’t panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.”
“Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. So here’s an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know…Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You’re deciding your life right now.
Physically and cognitively, they cannot do the things they used to do. Emotionally, this has been difﬁcult for them, but it has also been challenging for me. They need me for things they used to be able to handle themselves. I have had to learn to juggle my already hectic schedule so that their needs are met.
One might think this would be the hard part. However, I assure you, it is not. The hardest part for me is the wave of emotions I have ridden because this has forced me to make changes in my own life. In the last year, I have been angry, resentful, frustrated, depressed, and sad. At times, I have felt pity. Other times, I have experienced emotional detachment. For all of these emotions I have felt a deep guilt.
They are my parents. Why, when they need me the most, is it so hard to love them Recent statistics tell me that I am not alone. According to the Journal of Women and Aging, approximately 28 million adult children in the United States are providing some level of care and support to their aging parents.
The 2008 US Census reports that more adults are living into the eighth, ninth, and tenth decade of life than ever before in this countryʼs history. The census also reports that in 2007 there are 2 million people, age 90 and older, living in the United States, and this number is expected to reach 8.7 million by the middle of the twenty-ﬁrst century. In other words, this is the fastest growing segment of the population in the United States. This also means that, like me, there will be more adult children providing assistance to their aging parents. This at a time when they themselves are facing their own late midlife aging issues.
So I am not alone on this emotional roller coaster. What I am experiencing may be difﬁcult, but it is also normal. Many people my age are either in the seat beside me, or next in line to get on. It is important then to face these feelings and take measures that will help us through the process. I would like to suggest some things that have helped me:
Accept that things have changed. Roles have changed. Cognitive function has changed. Emotions have changed. Things that worked in the past may not work in the future.
Take things slowly. Expect nothing in return, but do expect anger and resentment, at least initially. Remember, you may realize that they need help long before they are willing to admit it.
Do not try to control them. It will be far more advantageous to offer suggestions than to give orders. Ask for their advice and allow them as much autonomy as possible. Yes, your life is changing. But so is the life of your parents. As hard as this may be on you, remember, for them, these changes are coming very quickly.
Treat health care workers with love and respect. Whether it be a cleaning person, case worker, doctor, or a caring neighbor, always be gracious and kind. You will need them if you truly want to provide the best possible care for your parents.
Talk to your friends. Many of them are going through the very same thing and will be valuable resource of information
Finally, allow yourself down time. Have some fun, and get away when possible. Whether it be an afternoon matinee or a weekend at the beach with friends, enjoy yourself whenever you can. You will need time to recharge and refresh so you can move forward and fulﬁll your responsibilities.
Through it all, I have come to the realization that I am not cursed, as I had originally believed. I am just a member of the generation that is now caring for their elderly parents. I have also come to realize that seeing my beloved parents through the ﬁnal years of their lives may be some of the most challenging and rewarding work I will ever do. I plan to do the work that I need to do to love them and do it well.
Kim Cartwright is a writer, speaker, and researcher who is passionate about helping people with issues such as self worth, eating disorders, and relationships. Check out her personal blog, (She)ology, and find her on Twitter @kimbrly63.
1 Natalie D. Pope and others. “How Women in Late Midlife Become Caregivers for Their Aging Parents” in Journal of Women and Aging (Nov 2012), 242.
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If you suspect the person is experiencing ADHD, use this symptom checklist to better determine. The American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) considers it necessary that the following be present before diagnosing a child with ADHD:
- The behaviors must appear before age 7.
- They must continue for at least six months.
The symptoms must also create a real handicap in at least two of the following areas of the child’s life:
- in the classroom
- on the playground
- at home
- in the community, or
- in social settings
There are some circumstances in which a child or adolescent’s behavior might seem like ADHD, but might not actually be ADHD. Many other conditions and situations can trigger behavior that resembles ADHD. For example, a child might show ADHD symptoms when experiencing:
- A death or divorce in the family, a parent’s job loss, or other sudden change
- Undetected seizures
- An ear infection that causes temporary hearing problems
- Problems with schoolwork caused by a learning disability
- Anxiety or depression
- Insufficient or poor quality sleep
- ADHD Therapy Advice
It is normal for every person to zone out in a boring biology class, forget their homework in the kitchen counter, and act in a excited—high energy way. This is not ADHD. Persons with ADHD experience these issues to a degree that is drastically negatively impacts their performance in school and in life.
When helping someone with ADHD, a multimodal approach is often used. Medication in combination with therapy has been found effective in treating ADHD. Informing teachers, coaches, and others is also an effective approach to ensure appropriate approached to learned are used with the person with ADHD.
ADHD Counseling Therapy Action Steps
Below are several action steps for helping a person with ADHD.
Certain medicines can help people with ADHD by improving their focus and attention and reducing the impulsiveness and hyperactivity associated with ADHD. People with ADHD used to have to take medicine several times a day, but now there are some that can be taken at home once a day in the morning.
2) Counseling Therapy
Counseling can be used to help the person learn new strategies for coping with ADHD symptoms. In addition, family counseling helps treat ADHD because it keeps parents informed and also shows them ways they can work with their kids to help.
3) Maintain structure and supervision.
One of the hardest parts of helping a person with ADHD is that a higher level of structure will consistently be necessary. Parents of ADHD persons often ask “when can we finally relax the increased structure we have created to monitor our person’s school performance and home behavior?” The answer is often that parents should maintain the established structure until the person leaves for college. This does not mean being a prison warden, this means adding additional structure and supervision to help the person be happy and succeed .
4) Remember ADHD is a Disability.
Parents must remember that their person with ADHD has a neurologically based disability, and that there is a “can’t do” as well as a “won’t do” component to their unthinking actions. This means that parents of person with ADHD need to provide an extra helping of grace, patience, and forgiveness with their person.
5) Help them build on their Strengths.
Having ADHD is not just practically difficult for a person, it is also emotionally difficult. Parents and caretakers should be a constant positive force in the life of a person with ADHD. In addition, help the person find and build on his or her strengths. Personal strengths always overshadow the weaknesses caused by having ADHD.
It is hard to admit. But sometimes, as a man, we need to ask for help. We need to admit that we can’t do everything and we need counseling for men. As a guy, I know how hard it can be to ask for help. I don’t like to ask for help fixing my car, let alone fixing a problem with myself.
Counseling for men can be the perfect place to face issues you’ve had for a while, or one’s that you recently developed. Counseling for men can solve a lot of problems, but going to a counselor and revealing your problems may seem like an uncomfortable situation.
But the truth is: You are not alone. There are ways to fix your problems without glazing over them – Thriveworks has counseling for men that can help you overcome your problems.
Whether you are struggling with insecurity, need relationship advice, have anger problems, or a plethora of other issues; we have counselors that are ready to help you with your problems.
Thriveworks counseling for men helps men overcome the issues they have faced. We can counsel individually or with families.
Counseling for men is a great way to overcome the problems you have always faced. We understand that it can be hard to seek out a counselor, but with years of experience, we will tailor the counseling to the specific needs of each man.
Counseling for men helps men overcome issues such as anger, addiction, depression, anxiety, bullying, and much more.
Call us at 1-855-2-THRIVE. We’re available by telephone Monday-Friday, 8:00am – 5:30pm. In addition, there is a live attendant 24 hours a day.
We want you to find the help, care, motivation, or information you’re looking for.
As a new parent, you are likely to face an inundation of parenting advice, most of it unwelcomed.
The best parenting and child development a baby could hope for would be a healthy, happy relationship between the parents and it doesn’t happen by accident.
New parents may be surprised to learn that they need advice about their relationship with their spouse, partner, or significant other after the initial thrill of having a new baby has subsided. Regardless of the depth and strength of the relationship prior to the arrival of the bundle of joy, everything changes when baby arrives.
Fantasy: “It won’t happen to us.”
Reality: Stunningly 90% of 218 couples were less satisfied with their marital relationship than before children (detailed in a study by Doss and Stanley in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).
Rather than burying your head in the sand, prepare yourselves.
1. Plan if you can, and stick to it.
The same study mentioned above showed that those who maintained a strong relationship during child rearing had been married longer before having children or had higher incomes.
You don’t need to be rich to have a baby. Establish financial goals and work together on the family budget throughout the course of the marriage. If you have the option, don’t rush into having children early in your marriage or relationship.
If you didn’t plan either one and baby is on the way or you have recently had a child, don’t panic. Be smart and make a plan now. Accompany plans with wise counsel.
- Make the commitment to go at least once a year to a marriage workshop or seminar.
- Find a good counselor, therapist, or clergy to help with unresolved issues and strengthening good relationship habits throughout the year.
- Finally, seek regular financial checkups with a financial advisor or a trusted family or friend with good financial sense.
2. Share responsibilities.
Fathers have a natural tendency to focus more on the economical situation of the family as baby arrives. Let’s face it—babies are expensive. They may seize more opportunities for extra hours or put in additional effort in hopes of advancement.
At the same time, new mothers might feel neglected rather than excited for her partner’s hard work. He is at work far more than at home and both are exhausted when they finally do have the chance to be together.
Collaborate on every issue facing your relationship, including how much and when you both work. Be mindful of all the extra work inside the home and work together to ensure a harmonious environment.
3. Keep your promises!
It’s better to promise only one thing and keep that promise than to make more promises and miss some. Both the parent/child relationship and the parent/parent relationship will thrive under the security of knowing that promises will be kept.
If you promise to be home from work by 6 PM, then your day should revolve around ensuring that happens. If you promise to be gone for an hour to run errands, the entire hour should be carefully planned to ensure returning home in the specified timeframe.
It’s not just catchy words to a song: Love is a verb. It is reflected by intentional actions. Love means keeping the solidarity of your relationship as top priority when raising your children.
This Article is Presented by Thrive Boston Counseling, offering Couples Counseling in Cambridge, MA. 872 Massachusetts Ave, Ste 2-2, Cambridge, MA 02139. 617-395-5806
The work-life balance is often out of whack for many in the Sandwich Generation because of the interminable amount of time it takes to care for everyone’s needs. Some could be one call-out-sick day away from losing their job; and many haven’t had a day to themselves in months. Moreover, the stress on couples can quickly put a rift between a usually healthy relationship.
There seems to never be enough time or money to cover all the demands.
Statistics provided by National Alliance for Caregiving show that there are approximately 66 million women caught in the cycle of caring for both children and aging parents while working a full-time job. These stats are further reinforced by the number of counseling clients who cite the stress of caring for both children and aging parents.
In a perfect world, elderly parents would have planned ahead for assisted living or extended care and purchased a comprehensive insurance policy to pay for it. The reality is, not everyone will have it or can afford to have it.
So what can you do if you are part of this hamster wheel of never-ending demands on your time and money and keep your relationship and family strong in the process?
1. Stay connected with your support circle.
In all the ups and downs of life, one fact remains: Your social support circle is a vital part of your emotional wellbeing. Because your time is limited, do your visiting in short spurts or while carrying out other tasks: Call a friend for a quick lunch or coffee, coordinate a grocery shopping trip with a friend, find a friend who will work out or take walks with you. You can always find ways to incorporate your support system without taking extended time away from home.
2. Keep saving for retirement.
This could be the most difficult area to manage because both children and parents are likely to need financial help.
- It’s important to get financial advice for aging parents’ remaining assets and income to ensure proper management.
- Adult children should be given responsibility of their own finances and dependent children of all ages need boundaries when it comes to spending your money.
Avoid leaving yourself vulnerable to financial hardship when you are in or near retirement. If you can, work with a financial advisor to assist you with this essential task.
3. Take care of yourself (and your relationship).
It threatens to be the snowball that turns into an avalanche as you lose yourself in the daily rush of caring for everyone else. If you don’t take care of yourself, you could become so stretched and stressed that you aren’t helping anyone effectively. If you allow your regular exercise regimen and good eating habits to fall by the wayside, you may experience a weakened immune system, decreased energy, and less patience to deal with the tasks at hand. So be sure to take time for yourself! For couples, being sure to take time for each other is crucially important to keep the relationship healthy during such stressful times.
You are not alone. There are many people in your situation right now. Seek local organizations that may provide some type of help. Scour the Internet for resources. Don’t be shy about asking for help from other members of your family, church family, and neighbors. Many persons find that connecting and partnering with a local counselor (or couples counselor) is helpful for managing stress and strategizing ways to balance responsibilities. Finally, maintaining a strong, healthy you is essential to maintaining your strong, healthy family.
This article is presented by Thriveworks Atlanta Counseling and Life Coaching, 8800 Roswell Rd #255, Atlanta GA 30350. Call us at 404-719-4233.
PAIR Couple Inventory (About $50.00)
David H. Olson & Mark T. Schaefer
Couples Counseling: The PAIR (Personal Assessment of Intimacy in Relationships) Inventory is a 36 item instrument that assesses five types of intimacy: emotional, social, sexual, intellectual, and recreational. It enables a person to describe their own relationship as they perceive and experience it. It can be used for a variety of relationships from friendship to marriage.
PAIR can be used for all types of dyadic relationships including friendships, dating, premarital, cohabiting, and marriage relationships. It is being used as a couple assessment tool in premarital and marriage counseling, as well as a feedback instrument in couple enrichment programs.
PAIR measures several kinds of intimacy that a couple may experience: emotional intimacy, social intimacy, sexual intimacy, recreational intimacy, and intellectual intimacy. PAIR measures both the perceived (36 items) and expected (36 items) levels of intimacy in that relationship. The discrepancy between the “perceived-expected” descriptions provides an assessment of their satisfaction in each of these areas. It can also provide directions and goals for couples in either therapy or enrichment programs.
PAIR has been systematically developed so that it will provide reliable and valid information about a couple. A conventionality scale has been included to indicate how much individuals attempt to “fake good.”
The advantage of using PAIR (vs. PREPARE/ENRICH) is that you only have to purchase it once. Then you can receive permission to reproduce your own copies for each couple that you counsel. Also, PAIR is a self-scored inventory that can be scored in a matter of minutes.
The PAIR Packet includes:
- PAIR Manual
- 2 PAIR Item Booklets
- PAIR Administration and Scoring Booklet
- 2 PAIR journal articles
- Abstract Form
This test is for premarital and marital couples. It explores the strengths and the growth areas of their relationship. It also allows a couple to discuss family-of-origin issues, helps them to make financial plans, develop couple and personal goals and strengthen communication skills and learn how to resolve conflict.
Other variations of this test are as follows – Prepare MC is for pre-marital couples with children. Prepare CC is for cohabiting couples. Prepare Enrich is for married couples and Prepare MATE is for couples over 50 years old that are considering marriage / re-marriage or a significant life transition.
ENRICH Couple Scales (About $50.00)
David H. Olson, David G. Fournier, and Joan M. Druckman
ENRICH contains three 10-item subscales that can be used for research including Marital Satisfaction, Communication, and Conflict Resolution. There is also a seven item Idealistic Distortion Scale.
The Marital Satisfaction scale provides a global measure of satisfaction by surveying ten areas of the couple’s marriage. These areas include the major categories in ENRICH: i.e. personality, role responsibilities, communication, conflict resolution, financial concerns, management of leisure time, sexual relationship, parental responsibilities, relationships with family and friends, and religious orientation.
The Communication scale is concerned with an individual’s feelings, beliefs, and attitudes about the communication in his/her relationship. Items focus on the level of comfort felt by both partners in being able to share important emotions and beliefs with each other, the perception of a partner’s way of giving and receiving information, and the respondent’s perception of how adequately she/he communicates with partner.
The Conflict Resolution scale assesses an individual’s attitudes, feelings and beliefs toward the existence and resolution of conflict in his/her relationship. Items focus on the openness of partners to recognize and resolve issues, the strategies and procedures used to end arguments, and their satisfaction with the way problems are resolved.
The Idealistic Distortion scale measures the extent to which the person is being optimistic, realistic or pessimistic in answering the questions. This scale can be a useful reference point in understanding the perceptual biases of a person. Premarital couples tend to be overly optimistic in describing their relationship, while unhappy couples tend to be overly pessimistic and married couples tend to be more realistic.
ENRICH Marital Satisfaction Scale (About $30.00)
David H. Olson
This is a 17 item scale with 10 items on satisfaction and 7 items on idealism.
The Marital Satisfaction scale provides a global measure of satisfaction by surveying ten areas of the couple’s marriage. These areas include the major categories in ENRICH: i.e. communication, conflict resolution, roles, financial concerns, leisure time, sexual relationship, parenting, family and friends, and religion.
The Idealistic Distortion scale measures the extent to which the person is being optimistic, realistic or pessimistic in answering the questions. This scale can be a useful reference point in understanding the perceptual biases of a person. Premarital couples tend to be overly optimistc in describing their relationship, while unhappy couples tend to be overly pessimistic and married couples tend to be more realistic.
Fowers, B.J. & Olson, D.H. (1993) ENRICH Marital Satisfaction Scale.
Journal of Family Psychology Vol. 7, No. 2, 176-185
Clinical Rating Scale (About $30.00)
David H. Olson and Elinor Killorin
The Clinical Rating Scale is an instrument that is designed primarily for use by therapists. It can be used to rate the family’s behavior on the dimensions of cohesion, adaptability (flexibility), and communication. It is then possible to assess location of the couple or family on the Circumplex Model.
Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis
The Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis (T-JTA), an assessment from Pearson Assessments, measures personality traits that affect an individual’s personal and interpersonal adjustment. The T-JTA can be used for individual counseling, and with its unique “criss-cross” feature, it is ideal for counseling couples. The T-JTA profiles are designed to help counselors quickly identify problem areas. The instrument can help individuals better understand themselves and to compare their self-portraits with the perceptions of their spouse.
Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Referenced by Everett Worthington in Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling)
By: Graham Spanier
The Dyadic Adjustment Scale is 32 item self-report measure of relationship adjustment. Four factors are reported: Dyadic Satisfaction; Dyadic Consensus; Dyadic Cohesion and Affectional Expression. Normative data is provided for married and recently divorced couples.
The scale has good reliability and has been used in many research studies with a wide variety of couples, indicating good validity. Features include:
- Brief measure – quickly completed by clients.
- Wide variety of uses from couples counselling, effectiveness of therapy, at risk assessments, co-morbidity, etc.
Reports: The DAS may be hand or computer scored. Computer scoring and report generation can be completed on-site using the PsychManager software or through our Scoring Bureau’s mail/fax-in service.
Two computer generated reports are available. The Profile Report prints out a graph of an individual’s scores. The Integrated Report provides a graph of results for both members of a relationship.
- DAS Profile Report.
- DAS Integrated Report.
Other Inventories For Couples Counseling
Beck Depression Inventory
Do you think you are suffering from depression? This is a quick, inexpensive, self-score test that measures the attitudes and symptoms of depression to determine the extent of the depression.
State Trait Anger Expression Inventory (STAXI)
Are you or someone you know dealing with a lot of uncontrolled anger? This test explores how a person experiences and expresses anger. It is a straightforward, brief test with 44 questions and five main scales.
Trauma Symptom Inventory
This is a 100 question test evaluating Post-traumatic Stress symptoms resulting from rape, assault, natural disasters, abuse and other personal tragedies in an individual’s life. This tool measures the extent to which an individual is experiencing trauma.
If you are looking for a licensed professional couples counselor, consider contacting Thrive Boston Counseling at 617-395-5806. or mail 872 Massachusetts Ave, Ste 2-2, Cambridge, MA 02139
1. RAD – What are the implications?
Reactive Attachment Disorder is a very serious condition. It is when a child is not able to establish an attachment or a bond with their parents or caregivers. When this is not managed properly, it can result in impairment in the child’s development, its inability to form long or short-term relationships as well as expressing his emotions. There are two forms of RAD – inhibited and disinhibited. In inhibited RAD, the child is not able to initiate or respond to interactions with other people (this is usually related to the loss of a primary caregiver). On the other hand, disinhibited RAD is manifested by a child participating in diffuse attachments and improper sociability, such as being excessively familiar with strangers. This is usually caused by the constant loss of attachment figures, or having multiple caregivers but being unable to develop an attachment to any of them.
The primary cause of reactive attachment disorder is the inability to consistently connect with a parent or a caregiver. There are certain risk factors that can lead to a child developing RAD. These risk factors include institutional or foster care, having different caregivers, inexperienced parents, consistent neglect, prolonged hospitalization, poverty and any form of abuse, such as physical, emotional or sexual.
2. What are the signs?
Here are some of the different manifestations of RAD in infants, older children and adolescents: in infants, they might avoid eye contact, fail to smile or reach out when picked up, reject your efforts to soothe them, do not care if they are left alone, do not coo or make any sounds, spend time comforting themselves such as rocking, are not interested in interactive games or often cry inconsolably. For older children and adolescents, signs and symptoms include discomfort over displaying physical affection, anger management issues, a preference for being dominant in most situations and never asking for help.
3. What can I do?
When caring for such a child, there are certain things that one should keep in mind to make the situation easier. Setting realistic expectations is one of them; be patient and strive to promote a sense of humor and joy for the child. Self-care is also very important, even if it proves to be stressful. When things get out of hand, find the time to talk with some friends or with anyone who can help. To further assist such a child, find the things that make them feel good and help them identify ways to express their needs. Of course, talking and playing with one’s child while responding appropriately to their emotional age is also very important.
It is very difficult to be the parent or the caregiver of a child who has reactive attachment disorder, but one should bear in mind that this condition is even harder for them. Keep vigilant and look out for the different signs and symptoms of RAD so that treatment can be sought after immediately.
This article was provided to you by Thrive Boston Counseling Services. Please visit our website at www.thriveboston.com for further information, or give us a call at 617-395-5806 if you are seeking assistance.
(In Canada, the percentage is roughly 70%, in the UK, it’s around 67%).
So, the question on a lot of couples’ minds is: how do you make it work, when you’re both…working?
Here are Three Strategies:
Strategy One: Clarify Expectations
Unspoken expectations are a deathblow to any relationship. If both you and your partner work, it’s especially important to clarify your expectations of how work-life and home-life will intertwine.
For instance, after a long day at the office do you need to be alone to decompress? Or do you want your partner around to discuss and debrief the day’s events with you?
Do you expect you and your partner to touch base during the day—that is, with phone calls, texts, or email–or do prefer not to be interrupted when working?
What are your expectations about time off, meals together, child care, and money? Addressing these issues, and others, will make sure that both you and your significant other are on the same page.
Strategy Two: Schedule Spontaneity.
People hate scheduling fun. However, for many working couples, if it’s not scheduled it doesn’t happen. And that’s no fun at all.
Take a look at your calendar, and just like you would block off times for important company meetings, block off times for fun with your significant other. You don’t need to specify what you will do—just that you’ll be together, and not working. These respites from responsibility will help keep the spark in the relationship.
Strategy Three: Cheat — On Your Job.
The philosopher Goethe once said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
What happens when work conflicts with life—who usually wins? Too often, it’s work.
While career is important—not every “work emergency” is really worthy of cutting into your home-life.
In addition, small gestures like taking a day off when your significant other is sick, or coming home early once in a while, can go a long way in showing your significant other that the or she is a priority.
Question of the Day:
Are you in a relationship where both you and your significant other work? If so, what have you done that has helped keep the relationship healthy? Let us know, in the comments.