Does it upset you when you’re cut off in traffic? When your partner or child challenges you, does your blood pressure skyrocket? You could be angry at a specific person, such as a coworker or supervisor. You can feel angry in a traffic jam, a canceled flight, or a grocery line. Perhaps your anger is caused by worrying or obsessing over personal issues. Even memories of traumatic events can trigger anger or rage.
Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. But how we express anger or deal with our angry feelings is what determines whether that angry response is a healthy one or a detrimental one. Anger left unmanaged can place a strain on both your physical and emotional health. Further, your relationships will most certainly suffer.
We’ve all experienced anger, whether as annoyance or as full-fledged rage. But when it flares up repeatedly and frequently or spirals out of control, it may be time to seek help and support. Getting your anger under control may be easier than you think. Thriveworks Blacksburg has compassionate, trained counselors who want to help you confront and overcome your anger issues. We can help you gain insight into the real reasons for your anger. They can teach you anger management tools.
Is It Wrong to Express My Anger?
Instinctively, most humans express anger in an aggressive manner. Anger is a natural, innate response to perceived threats. Anger can provoke powerful feelings which often play out as aggressive behavior. Admittedly a certain amount of anger is crucial to our survival.
Yet, we can’t physically act out every time someone or something annoys us. Society, common sense, and of course, the law, limits how intensely our anger can be expressed.
Although it’s normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated, challenged or wronged, anger becomes problematic when it’s expressed in a way that causes harm to your or others around you.
If you have a quick temper, you may be telling yourself that you can’t help it; that there’s nothing you can do about it; that it’s “just the way you are.” But the truth is, you DO have more control over your anger than you may think. You can learn to express your emotions in a healthy way. Thriveworks Blacksburg Anger Management counselors are sympathetic and understanding. We want to help you understand your anger and how to manage it.
The answer isn’t to hold your anger in.
Unexpressed anger may create secondary problems. You may subconsciously find other ways of expressing your anger. Sometimes this presents as passive-aggressive behavior, or simply becoming continually negative and hostile. Uncontrolled anger may even escalate over time, and left unchecked, someone or something may get hurt.
Thriveworks Blacksburg Anger Management is here to help you through the process or learning to understand and manage your anger. We can’t get eliminate the people or things that upset you; we can’t change them. But we CAN help you learn to control your reactions.
Am I Too Angry?
Here at Thriveworks Blacksburg Anger Management can offer and administer tests that indicate the presence and intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you may be, and how well you handle your anger. But if you think your anger is causing problems in your life, chances are you do have anger management issues. Perhaps those around you are even frightened sometimes at your anger or rage. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I have a hard time compromising with others?
Is it hard for you to understand other people’s points of view, and even harder to concede a point? If you grew up in a family where anger was out of control, you may remember how the angry person got his or her way by being the loudest and most demanding. Compromising might bring up unpleasant feelings of failure and vulnerability.
Do I have trouble expressing emotions other than anger?
Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame don’t apply to you? Everyone has those emotions so you may be using anger as a cover for them.
I see different opinions as a challenge to me personally.
Do you believe that you are always right? Do you get angry when others disagree with you? If you have a strong need to be in control, you may view other opinions as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.
Do you overgeneralize or exaggerate?
For example, “You ALWAYS interrupt me. You NEVER consider my needs. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve.”
Are you obsessed with “shoulds” and “musts?”
Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesn’t line up with this vision.
Do you constantly jump to conclusions?
Assuming you “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling—that he or she intentionally upset you, ignored your wishes, or disrespected you.
Are you always looking for things to be upset about?
Letting these small irritations build and build until you reach the “final straw” and explode, often over something relatively minor.
Do you blame everyone but yourself?
When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You blame others for the things that happen to you rather than taking responsibility for your own life.
Why Do Some People Have More Trouble With Anger?
First of all, just because someone isn’t showing the “usual” anger management symptoms, don’t assume they don’t have anger management struggles. Some don’t show their anger in loud flamboyant ways but are constantly annoyed and irritated. Those with anger management struggles don’t always swear and throw things, sometimes they withdraw socially, become depressed, or even become physically ill.
Easily angered people generally have a low tolerance for frustration. They feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They’re unable to take things in stride, and they’re particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust. The causes for this may be genetic or physiological. There is evidence that some children are actually born irritable, overly sensitive, or easily angered. These signs are usually present from a very early age.
Another factor in anger management struggles may be upbringing/environment. Perhaps you were taught that it’s all right to express sadness, happiness, excitement, or other emotions but not to express anger. Consequently, you didn’t learn how to handle or express it in a healthy way. Additionally, a family background where people were raised in families that were disruptive and chaotic, and often not skilled at emotional communications.
Is There Hope for Me to Change?
Yes. There is. You don’t have to live like this. Blacksburg Thriveworks offers professional anger management that is supportive, non-judgmental, and most importantly, accessible. Call us at 540-376-3348 to see a counselor usually within 24 hours. We take most insurances, as well as self-pay. We’re here to help you gain control of your temper, and begin a journey to a happier, more enjoyable life.
LGBTQIA+, Anger, Behavioral Issues, Coping Skills, Infidelity, +13 more 
